https://eee.uci.edu/programs/humcore/Student/Fall2009/LectureNotes/week10/Toni-Morrison-abstract-image-Pecola.jpg I would not think it all a stretch to say that "The Bluest Eye" is the darkest and most depressing book we have read in this class so far. While it is kind of pointless to quantify "depressing" in regards to pieces of literature, I think it is important to note the dilemmas we are dealing with in this novel are so real, so human, that they send shills down the spine. On that note, it was fascinating to read the opening sections of this novel and then read Professor Bump's analysis of the family structure in the book. Certainly, I have never encountered issues in my family that are in any way comparable to my own experiences. Pecola's subsequent adoption by the MacTeer's is overshadowed by Pecola's depressing background in her poor black families. Her alcoholic father treats his family like (excuse my language) shit. Her mom only keeps the family together under extreme stress from her husband and the constant fights between them reach consistent violent levels. I cannot imagine anyone growing up in this environment and having functional social skills, but than again I am applying my own expectations of an ideal family life. Which was what so illuminating about Professor Bump's piece. What exactly IS the ideal family dynamic? On one level it is important to note that there is no universal method of raising a family. Past experiences will invariably rear their heads in the progression of family relationships, and as Professor Bump notes that the "unfinished business of previous generations, buried in the psyche, strikes the individual without warning, against her will, sweeping her up in an all too familiar phase of the family dance" (Course Anthology 351)http://web.centre.edu/smart/images/supplementary/alcoholism.gif
In many ways, Pecola's family cannot help be the way they are. Her parents need each other, but they are also each other's downfalls. Their constant bickering is not really mostly an expression of how they feel about themselves. In many ways, Cholly (Pecola's dad) seems to exert his anger on Pecola's mother seemingly because she is the only receptive vessel of his anger and hatred. This is a constant in his life, like when two white men caught him having sex with a girl and forcing him to finish as they watched. "But for some reason Cholly had not hated the white men; he hated, despised, the girl" (Morrison 42). It is easy to see how under these conditions one would frequently go into fits of uncontrollable rage. I know not how such an episode would effect me, and I shudder to think about it. In this way the tragedy of The Bluest Eye is not so much the failures of the characters to treat each other with respect and to establish "proper" family dynamics. Rather, the sadness derives from the inevitability of it all, the fact that in many ways the conditions which the residents of this Ohio town could not escape their fates. Like Native Americans, African-American history is paved with horrifying and embarrassing incidents of violence, repression, and racism. Racism was an institutional disorder of American society, and if affected all of American culture everywhere (including the Mid-West). It is thus rather depressing that people are so willing to shove off dysfunctional Black families because they see it as the fault African-American culture. What they fail to realize is that centuries of intolerance and repression and have created this "culture" which they so despise and as such, they should hear life through the eyes of people in these situations. Only once we realize the difficulties that these people have to go through on a daily and lifelong basis, we will be able to appreciate their tenacity and resilience.
I noted in my earlier DB that the way European Americans interacted with Native Americans amounted to something very closely resembling genocide. I think it is safe to say that today most educated Americans are well aware that our ancestors did not treat Natives with the respect they deserve. But how many know about the deliberate and common acts of barbarity by the "Wasichus" (Europeans)? Most people have heard of Wounded Knee and the Trail of Tears. But how many have heard about the Pequot War or the Sand Creek Massacre? The history of Native Americans is shrouded in tears and blood. For the most part, in all honesty, I had no idea what Black Elk was talking about for most of his accounts. I had to read summaries online, and the sobering tale of the Sioux's utter defeat became more clear to me. In particular, his account of Wounded Knee was particularly depressing, with American soldiers stopping at nothing to slaughter the Sioux. The image of "a little baby trying to suck its mother, but she was bloody and dead" was especially haunting (Black Elk Speaks xxxiv). What drives people to commit such acts? How is such depravity fostered in otherwise seemingly normal people? I think the answer to this question is that the people who engaged in these acts were not aware of the pain they were causing due to a complete lack of understanding, something I touched on in my last DB. I cannot for a second believe that the white men responsible for these killings viewed Native Americans as equal, or maybe not even as true people.An image of the Sand Creek Massacre http://home.comcast.net/~zebrec/imgs/sand_creek_massacre.JPG The differences between these two groups was significant. Of particular interest to me in Black Elk's anecdotes is the segment where he travels to Europe. Black Elk does not understand why Europeans do the things they do, and the Europeans treat him like a exotic circus freak show. While the way Europeans treated Native was in no way excusable, it is almost depressingly easy to see how and why it happened. Genocide is never right, but it is sad how much a part of human history it has become. Because of the history of Native American subjugation, Black Elk's testimony is therefore that more fascinating and important. It is not often that we hear about the Native's viewpoint about incidents like Wounded Knee. To me, the tragedy that is the story of Native peoples is perfectly encapsulated when Black Elk describes the white men throwing dead Elk and Bison overboard on the way back from Europe: "When I saw the poor bison thrown over, I felt like crying, because I thought right there they were throwing part of the power of my people away…." ( Black Elk Speaks xxxii)
The history of Native Americans in the United States is one that is strife with conflict and depressing stories. In fact, it is not at all a stretch to say that Native Americans underwent a genocide under the hands of European Americans. What is the source of all these conflicts and tension? To me, what lies at the heart of the conflict is a misunderstanding of cultural differences. To the Native Americans, nature and the land which they inhabited were not quantifiable things. Land could not be parceled into acres to be sold and owned. The land and nature were physical manifestations of their spiritual heritage. The land was as much a part of it as they were a part of the land. Westerners saw the land as economic opportunity. They saw the massive herds of buffalo as an endless source of revenue, and they saw the nomadic tribesmen as savage heathens. Needless to say, this difference in outlook was bound to end in tragedy. Black Elk's oratory record is an amazing record of Native American traditions and and insight into their world view. Almost everything in Black Elk's world is symbolic and spiritual, even ribbons hanging from a peace pipe are "the four quarters of the universe" and the eagle feather "is for the thoughts of men that should rise high as eagles do" (Course Anthology 259). Knowing this, it is easy to see how spiritual traditions like choosing a totem animal has such resonance for Native Americans. Not arbitrarily chosen, totem animals are ACTUAL spiritual representations. And when animals were harvested in hunts, Native Americans treated them as fellow spirits, giving their bodies for the benefit of their human brothers. In fact animals were held to such a high regard, that when Black Elk speaks of killing a green frog he describes how holding its dead body caused him to think "'Now I have killed him,' and it made me want to cry..." (Course Anthology 268)http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/6b/%27Buffalo_Hunt_on_the_Southwestern_Prairies%27,_oil_on_canvas_painting_by_John_Mix_Stanley,_1845,_Smithsonian_American_Art_Museum_%28Washington_D._C.%29.jpg
This spirituality was probably impossible for Westerners to comprehend, thus it is little surprise to me that they resorted to such racist and discriminating methods of interacting with Natives. While it is by no means excusable, history is filled with conflicting groups of people treating each other inhumanely. I would be willing to bed that most people living on the frontier in fact regarded their Native American neighbors as savages, almost sub-human. We as Americans tend to look at less technologically complex societies as inferior or "backwards," but we never stop to consider and think that perhaps this people want to live like this and if given the choice would continue to live this way. So traditional Native culture lives on in a handful of surviving Native Americans, but to the American consciousness it is but a fleeting memory of a time immemorial, before guns, trains, and cars. We now look at the Native way of life with respect and awe at the richness of their culture. Had we only been able to realize this hundreds of years ago, history may have played out in a much different way.
Decades from now, when my close friends, my family, and the paparazzi gather to celebrate my life at my funeral, I hope to god a level-headed and down to earth acquaintance of mine gives a eulogy about my life. I hope he highlights my accomplishments, my good nature, my humbleness, my friendship, and most of all my leadership. What do I mean by leadership? I mean that I hope this acquaintance focuses on how I affected the lives of others, how I helped make the earth a better place, and ultimately how my actions contributed to making my generation the best generation mankind has ever seen. Does this seem a little far-fetched? Of course, but it is a fantasy of mine, a fantasy I deem worthy of holding on to. While it is certainly dangerous to focus on one's legacy after death, I can't help but be attracted to the idea of making society and this world a better place. But that is such a broad term. How EXACTLY do I want to change the world? What motives me to dedicate my heart and soul to it? http://www.aito.co.uk/ewebeditpro4/upload/Friends%20on%20conservation.JPG
Well to begin with, I always saw myself as being an international icon of environmental conservation. I started out this school year focusing on my love for nature and conserving wildlife. But somehow along my journey I began to focus less on this. I think perhaps the vastness of the issues of pollution, over-hunting, deforestation, and global warming was too much to handle. The pressures, stress, and time management issues of college caused me to give up on a cause that I increasingly saw as hopeless. In high school, when I had free time galore, these issues filled my consciousness and I dedicated much of my time learning as much as possible about them. I envisioned myself becoming a defender of wildlife, a spokesman for environmental stewardship, and an international figure synonymous with "conservation." I would be responsible for ensuring the survival of the Galapagos, protecting the biodiversity of Sumatra and Borneo, and overseeing the eventual comeback of the critically endangered Alabama sturgeon. But what I quickly realized in college was that I had much to learn and had to grow a lot before I could even be allowed to have these fantasies. In order to grow I was forced to gain a sense of humbleness and as such I gained a certain wisdom I never had in high school. Through trial and error I learned the ropes of college, I became more organized, more driven, and more focused on my immediate goals. I learned how to deal with others better, I became more aware of the feelings of others. But most importantly I found my place in college, and I learned how to do what I needed to be successful. So for now I still hurry past the Greenpeace activists, but not necessarily because I completely disagree with what they stand for, but mostly because right now I do not think I am ready or mature enough to be involved in such a cause. I am still a for now simply a college student chasing girls and good grades. I have a lot of freedoms and a lot of potential to practice my leadership skills, such as being in student organizations or involved in school politics. But for now I prefer a more patient approach. I have much to learn and look forward to the day when I can use this new knowledge I gained both inside and outside of the classroom in college for causes I believe in. I believe Plan II is the perfect opportunity for me to achieve this goal. The diversity of the curriculum and the wealth of support in its writing classes allows me to express and further discover myself. Writing will be an important facet in any of my future endeavors, but in a public relations job like working in a conservation organization, writing will be imperative to my success in explaining the importance of conservation measures to the general public. It will also be necessary if I am to land desirable positions in any given organization. A well articulated candidate will surely be stronger than one who does not know how to express them self through writing. Some classes also help me develop in ways outside of writing. 603B's rigorous work schedule helped me focus my time management skills and helped me develop a level of organization that did not exist in my life before college. As I continue to enroll in advanced writing courses in my college career, I am sure that the challenges these courses offer will be similar in approach to 603B's. I will learn to express myself in a timely, succinct, and organized manner. The culmination of all this work will be my senior thesis, which in completion of itself will have proven my abilities as a writer and give me an opportunity to further develop through a difficult trial (that trial being writing an exhaustive 60 page research thesis). The opportunities offered in these writing classes and the varied interests of a liberal arts education is essential to my intellectual development and my growth as a citizen of the world. I hope to one day look back at my time at UT and see it as the time in my life when I became the man I have always hoped to become. In my opinion a proper education is definitely responsible for an individual's leadership qualities. In this class alone we have learned to become self-reliant, to be responsible for ourselves, and take the initiative and even lead classes from time to time. We have read books about characters going through similar situations as a freshman in college. Alice was thrust into a new world in Alice in Wonderland and Pi Patel had to navigate the empty Pacific Ocean without any help. Siddharta searched for enlightenment in a solitary and spiritual path, very much in the vein of a naive and lonely college kid. All of these characters and stories helped me to understand the nature of my stresses and the importance of my own struggles, while finding the strength within myself to find my inner leader. In an example of my early collegiate struggles, I had a hard with time management during my first semester of college. I genuinely felt bad when I spent time doing homework or studying. Now it no longer bothers me and I finally learn to feel the satisfaction of doing assignments early and relaxing with the stress now off my back. All in all, while I still have a long way to go, I definitely feel like a more confident and responsible person, both necessary qualities for leadership. Now I have been talking about HOW I have gained and hope to further foster my leadership abilities, but I haven't exactly gone into is why I need these abilities in the first place or how exactly I am going to implement them. I mentioned my faded passion for wildlife conservation and nature. Well, I have recently discovered it is hard to kill off a long lost passion. Thumbing through a recent issue of a nature photography magazine I could not help overlook the message of the captions. They focused on the dire conditions of the many amazing places and creatures the photographs captured. I could not help feel a sense of helplessness and pity at the state of the natural world. Melting ice caps, over-exploitation of the oceans, pollution, and entire species endangerment are just few of the myriad of issues facing this planet's ecological state. So what exactly do I plan to do about this crisis? Well for one, I MUST finish college and do as well as I can with my remaining time here at UT. Plan II's curriculum may not have many classes focused simply on ecological or environmental issues but in order to be a potential leader in any sort of environmental organization or political movement I must be well versed in a variety of issues. I must be able to write well, I must be organized, and I must be confident enough in my own knowledge that I will be able to defend my case from both scientific and moralistic grounds. Thus, Plan II will serve as the basis for my future growth and leadership development. After graduation I hope that my Plan II degree (and perhaps a second degree of some sort) can get me into some sort of public position that deals with environmental issues in Central Texas. I could maybe join an organization dedicated to preserving the fragile karst environment of the Hill Country, or maybe run for a local government office to hope to achieve the same results. Regardless, I would start small in the place that I love most and the place where my fondness for nature developed. But if I play my cards right and give my heat and soul to my ambitions, perhaps I can move up the chains of the growing environmental movement. I would hope that people would see my rise not as a personal search for more power but as a sincere effort to advance the cause of environmentalism. I would use my cosmopolitan education to its fullest and I would engage people of all walks of life. Instead of perpetrating stereotypes of extremist, anarchic environmentalists I will help to dispel notions about the irrelevance of protecting our natural resources and natural history.
As I would grow in prominence I would hope that my leadership abilities would allow me to mobilize thousands of supporters and volunteers. My organization, confidence, knowledge, and social skills that developed significantly in college would take me far in this task. I would hope that the scope of my ambitions soon reaches to international theaters of conservation. Perhaps one day I will find myself in the front lines of the jungles of Sumatra, fighting for the last vestiges of rainforest still home to tigers, rhinos, and elephants. I would work with zoos and reintroduce species that have not tasted the world in over a century. I would help to pass legislation banning whaling in ALL forms. These, of course, are dreams. But like I said they are dreams I deem worth holding on to. Of the many things I have learned in my short time at college, one of them is to NEVER give up on dreams or pretend like I don't have them. Hard work and an emphasis on my leadership skills can take me many places, lets hope that others can benefit from my personal growth as well.
Alice's adventures in Wonderland are ripe with allegories and symbols of human interactions. It's multi-layered and wandering plot presents Alice in multiple situations which she is treated as an alien and her Victorian young girl ettiquete and mannerisms are confronted by the strange and often frightening inhabits of Wonderland. Of particular interest in Alice's wonderings is the immense diversity which she encounters, both in the environments and inhabitants of Wonderland. A good majority of the inhabitants are anthropomorphic creatures, and Alice, while a little shocked by their existence, essentially treats them with respect and kindness in the same way she would treat a fellow human being. She is aware of their obvious emotional capacities and tries, although sometimes unsuccessfully, to not offend any of Wonderland's creatures. In one of the more humours scenes to me, Alice offers to not "talk about her [pet cat] more if you'd rather not" to a highly sensitive little mouse (Alice's Adventures in Wonderland). Really, in such a situation, who would be worried about offending a mouse? Clearly Alice is not at all disgusted by the mouse and would rather befriend him than offend him. Through the Looking Glass has slightly more hidden themes about diversity. Like in the first novel, Alice is confronted by many strange creatures and inhabitants of Wonderland. She is not entirely welcome to her predicament, and at first tries desperatly to escape out of the same Looking Glass which she entered, "back into the old room -- and there'd be an end of all [her] adventures!" (Through the Looking Glass) But soon the splendor and wonder of this new place do not escape Alice. In a serious of barely connected and goofy events, Alice is eventually herself crowned a queen in Wonderland. Her fear of the unknown and uncertainty eventually gives way to appreciation, so much so that when she is woken by her cat she exclaims "You woke me out of oh! such a nice dream!" (Through the Looking Glass) As such, Alice finally embraced the initially daunting diversity and strangeness of Wonderland.http://etribute.lib.utexas.edu/media/ut/images/large/campus_aerial.jpg
Alice's journey through Wonderland are comparable to any college freshman's journey through his or her campus. They must be accustomed to accepting new things, to meeting different kinds of people, and being outside of their comfort zone. Here in Austin, where our campus is located in such a diverse and interesting part of town, I have learned to accept all walks of life. I have learned to walk past the residents of the drag without being scare for my safety, I have learned to accept the gay couple holding hands in front of me, and I have learned to appreciate the fact that there are vast numbers of foreigners and minorities that dot our campus (St. John's was a pretty homogeneous school. I was one of maybe 5 Latinos in our high school). While I never considered myself an Alice-like character, her trials in Wonderland are without a doubt analogous to anyone experiencing something completely different for the first time.
The topic of P4 is based on our abilities in leadership, which in many ways is a culmination of all the topics we have focused on in this class so far. We have dappled in ehtics, pondered morality, and dealt in philosophical and identity issues. To put together all of these aspects of the class towards a general goal of leadership is in many ways a sort of philosophical and personal journey for all of us in the class. As the course goals state, "The University strives to enroll exceptionally well-prepared, highly motivated students and to produce self-reliant graduates who will become leaders in both their chosen professions and their communities.” (Course Goals)
This is why reading Siddharta, a book about a man's journey as he searches for inner truth, we as a class were effectively able to draw comparisons to Siddharta's journey for inner truth and peace. The aspect of a journey is a central concept of Siddharta and of our class. However, one of the main conflicts in Siddharta is his unwillingness to accept the role of teachers in his quest for truth and peace. While is more than willing to listen, he is in general unable to understand the role that teachers have in his life and only when he detaches himself from the rigors and pressues of trying to follow other's paths to enlightenment. In his words, "Wisdom that a wise man attempts to pass on to someone always like foolishness" (Hesse 132).
So how does this possibly apply to leadership? How can one be a confident leader if one is not willing to listen to others or be tought important lessons by wise poeple? It seems almost paradoxical, but in many ways some of the world's greatest leaders MUST be willing to not accept the advice of others. Intiution is an important aspect of leadership, but at the same time I think advice from important leaders and thinker in our society should never be totally ignored.. This is a goal of our class as well, as P4 states we must find a role model and ask ourselves "What qualities do your role models exhibit that you would like to develop in yourself?" (P4 Instruction)
In the end, Siddharta's goal of spiritual enlightenement is not completely analogous to our class' personal leaderships goals. Siddharta was searching for something incredibly personal, to the point that teachers and teachings were useless. We are learning to be leaders for the benefit OF society, and as such we must learn from those who came before us to teach us what exactly we can do to benefit society.
Lyndon B. Johnson has always been one of the more confusing leaders to me in American history. I applaud his efforts to right this country socially and in such a turbulent time he showed remarkable poise. How many men can inherit the presidency after an assassination and still have the will to carry out such ambitious plans as he proposed. But at the same time, I can never really forgive or understand LBJ's position in Vietnam. What was the point of his escalation of this conflict? How could he support so many well meaning and humanitarian programs at home but be involved in so much bloodshed overseas? This museum helped me to understand a little more about LBJ's mindset. Tucked away in a section about the bloody and costly Vietnam War was a quote by LBJ. In it, he described that he understood the frustrations of the younger generations. He understood their frustrations that they were being seemingly sent off to die for treaties and political negotiations that occurred before they were even born. But the younger generations must understand that the struggles of older generations provide them with the freedoms they enjoy to this day, and as such they must inherit both the bad and the good of preceding generations.http://scrapetv.com/News/News%20Pages/usa/images-3/vietnam-war-soldiers.jpg
This was a remarkable and levelheaded approach to this issue that I had never really considered. This quote definitely helped clarify LBJs position to me. He wasn't a mindless killer of the youth generation, rather he was doing what he considered was in the best interest of this nation and as such he believed that while the war in Vietnam was awful and regrettable it was as such a necessary evil to combat communism. I think he applied this same philosophy to domestic welfare programs and his War on Poverty. Such was his traditional rural Texas background that he had a connection with the plight of everyday Americans that few Presidents ever, or will ever, have. He saw the issue of poverty as one of the major domestic problems in America and much as he did in Vietnam he poured all of his energy and resources into combating it. He left not stone unturned, and many programs we now take for granted, such as Medicare and Medicaid, have been left in tact as his legacy. I could never see myself committing myself to issues and problems on such a complete level as LBJ did. In that way I have a newfound respect for his actions. Hes no longer the president who allowed the baby killer American soldiers to run rampant in the jungles of Vietnam, rather he was the President who did everything in his power to do what he thought was best for our country. And that deserves plenty of praise.
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