Listening While Helping Others: My Confession

The Drag itself

http://www.unigo.com/privateAssets/0/2952/2956/2960/eeaac63e-2cd4-4b4b-9402-78a4e45ca43bbig.JPG





Walking on the drag can often be a high anxiety situation. I walk out of Which Wich on my way to my dorm when I encounter a group of scraggly dressed men with large pit bulls on makeshift leashes. Of course my preconceived notions and stereotypes begin to flare up. I identify them as "drag rats" or "lowlifes." And to be honest I wish they weren't there. I stare at the concrete as I pass them by hoping to avoid any eye contact, because unlike normal pedestrians I know these guys will pay attention to my presence. Sure enough, they ask for some spare change.

"NO," I defiantly mutter as I rush past them.


What's wrong with this image? To me there is nothing wrong with my response. The guys who hang out on the drag always ask me for money and I never have a reason to help them out. It may be wrong to stereotype and assume all they want is money, but the sad truth of the matter is that is WHY they are on the drag, to squeeze out a few dollars from unassuming college kids. Does it mean I hate these people? Absolutely not, I understand why they do what they do, but I have no obligation to help them or listen to what they have to say.

http://joemoralez.files.wordpress.com/2009/08/homeless-man.jpg
One of Ram Dass's main arguments in his chapter on listening is that by listening more acutely we may be more attuned to the suffering of others. This is true, but how willing am I to be attuned to the suffering of others? In the past I used to help strangers often. I volunteered at the Humane Society and homeless shelters all over Houston. I did this regularly for about 5 years of my life before I discovered something about myself, something people may consider fairly reprehensible. I never really got much out of helping others.

I understand that helping is not about "getting" anything. But I also do not like to assume I am an outwardly good person. Dass argues that "To rest in awareness also means to stand free of the prejudices of mind that come from identifying with cherished attitudes and opinions (How Can I Help? 111)." I care about certain topics and public concerns, but I would never consider myself a charitable person. There is so much suffering in this world that I think I have become particularly numb to it. I find it incredibly admirable that certain people are so willing to help others, and society is indebted to these people. But I also think it is part of culture to callously disregard the less fortunate, whether we do it intentionally or not. As Dass argues "The condition of helplessness is one that we tend to push away, deny, or stigmatize as a society and as individuals (How Can I Help? 134)." I suppose that's how I feel and am aware of why I feel this way. The sad thing I suppose is I do little to change this

So for now, I'll pass by the drag residents, my ears closed to anything they have to say.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P_RYTObsF_w&feature=player_embedded