Srebrenica

Srebrenica is a town in on the Eastern border of the Republika Srpska, the Serbian nation for which I fight for. Within it lies a bastion of Bosnian Muslims, who attack our troops relentlessly from their convenient safe-haven. For 2 years the U.N. has refused to allow us the ability to properly deal with the obvious threat of the Muslims by declaring Srebrenica an international “safe-zone.” We are not allowed to commit military actions in this enclave while the Muslims shoot at us, grinning and laughing as we stand powerless.

However, starting today this area will no longer remain a threat to the integrity of the Republika Srpska or the Serbian people. For three years I have been fighting in the Republika’s army, sacrificing everything in order that my family may live a life of peace and a life without the threat of Muslim rule. Since Yugoslavia dissolved in 1992, we have been at war with these savage people, trying to assert Serbian rule and protect our interests as a people. But that is not possible with the Muslims continued resistance in our lands. That is why today we enter Srebrenica. We enter as conquerors, and we have come to kill and crush the Muslims. Srebrenica will be no more once we have left.

July 25, 1995

I write this now in a state of great apprehension and panic. I no longer believe that what I am fighting for now is what I was fighting for when I volunteered when this war began. I no longer believe the world will look upon what we have done in Srebrenica and allow for us to be victorious. I believe we have lost this war for ourselves.

Is it possible for a human being to have such a great change of heart in such a small period of time? After what I experienced and took part it, I wonder if one could be called a human being and NOT have a change of heart. In my three years of fighting I have seen much death. I have seen homes, hospitals, and school burn. I have seen dead men, women, children, and babies. Death is nothing new to me and I assured myself I knew it better than most people. How wrong I was.

What we did In Srebrenica was inexcusable. No man between the ages of 10 and 100 was left alive after just 3 days of work. No woman escaped the threat of rape and now mother was spared the sight of seeing her son or husband shot in mass summary executions. The smell of death permeated the air as we entered each town in Srebrenica and the sky, in its overcast grey bleakness, lamented over the sadness unfolding beneath it.

Why do people do the things they do? Why on Earth must we line up old men and baby-faced teenagers to be shot? What goal are we trying to accomplish? We fill ourselves with the lies that these are military aged-men who MUST be destroyed, lest they continue to pose a threat to our success in the field of battle. It’s harder to believe that as they now lay rotting in mass graves that they posed a significant threat.

When I started fighting this war I viewed the Muslims as a threat to my Serbian existence and a threat to future generations of Serbs. They were a backwards and treacherous people. Their rejection of Christ was blasphemous and a new independent Serbia had no room for these people. It’s hard to say that I think of these people in a different way, but I do not know if I could live with how we have destroyed these people. We treated them like cows being sent to slaughter. But at least cows are not as aware of their plight. The Muslims knew they were going to die by our hands.

What I now know is that in the heat of war, in the wild, confusing hatred that infected us all, I forgot what it meant to be a human being. I lost the ability to feel compassion. I forgot what justice was. I only knew what revenge, slaughter, and anger were. It filled my mind and it was what kept me alive. When a person is dedicated to fulfilling their hateful ambitions they can be convinced to commit even the worst crimes.

Yugoslavia is at war because of a lack of understanding and a lack of compassion for our fellow humans. We have allowed our religious and ethnic differences to blind us from our common brotherhood as men. In this way we were bound to destroy each other. If one views another human being as a treacherous animal, a despicable blight preventing one’s overall goals, compassion is impossible to practice. To us, the Muslims were a virus that needed to be eradicated from existence and we treated them as such.

The war has been raging for years. I am but one small part in a greater unfolding human tragedy, and by leaving the frontlines I doubt I will have much an effect. But I can no longer be a participant or silent witness. I must leave and I must rebuild my life. I must see my family and hold them tight. Lord knows how many families I helped destroy. It is almost selfish to wish so longingly for my own family’s well being, but as I am unaware of their safety I must make sure they are safe.

August 6, 1995

It has been nearly a week since the massacres at Srebrenica. I am now in Belgrade and have reconnected with my family. I have faked a broken rib and as such am not hassled by the local populace, who no doubt expects me to be engaged in the ongoing slaughters.

Seeing my family for the first time since Srebrenica was an experience that will stay with me for the rest of my life. I held them and wept with them for hours, I could not believe they were alive and in my arms. It crushes to even think of any harm coming to my family. And yet I helped destroy hundreds of Muslim families just like mine. I could never bear to tell my son what I took part in. I was not protecting him from any Muslim threat or fighting for Serbian freedom; I was committing mass murder.

One day this war will end. And one day we will be forced to live with the Muslims as brothers, or we shall all perish. Peace is based on understanding, compassion, and the ability to appreciate each other’s differences rather than use them to keep use divided. Future generations must learn this lesson or the cycle of blood that has plagued us for the last years will continue forever.

And that is why there is something I must do, the only thing I can possibly do, to perhaps make up for the injustices I have been a part of. I know nothing I can do in my lifetime will bring back those whose deaths I am responsible for. I know nothing I do will allow me to forgive myself for my past actions. But I must not live my life in regret or misery. I must make the most of what God has given me and focus on making right in this world, not creating greater strife.

Our country is in shambles and as I speak thousands die every week. When the fighting dies down, we will have to start over as a people and as a country. I will use every ounce of effort in my body and my soul to making sure what has happened in the last three years and at Srebrenica never happens again. I will teach future generations tolerance and I will let them know if they do not allow compassion for people of other religions, ethnicities, or nationalities to enter their lives that all they will accomplish is to spread hatred and violence. I will let them know of my past mistakes and how much it pains me. Perhaps I will become a teacher, or become a politician of a new, peaceful Serbia. Perhaps I will only make a small impact, but anything is enough. The people of this land have suffered to long and their hearts have for too long been infected the disease of hatred and spite. Even if I only change one young Serbian, Croat, or Muslim’s mind, my goal has been met. From now on, this land will know peace and blood will no longer soak the soil.

Word Count 1,439

Pictures:
[1] http://warinbosnia.info/Portals/4/WarInBosnia/bosnia3.jpg
[2] http://www.notes.co.il/karny/user/Srebrenica_bodies.jpg
Video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Id4wtBJHMdU&feature=PlayList&p=3641EA22228C6DA5&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=39